He's gonna start a fight!

So, we went to mediation. And guess what? It was a total waste of my time; that's two hours and $275 I'll never get back. What a debacle!! I don't know how he did it, but he had that mediator eating out of his hands: "he's just a maintenance man", "he doesn't make that much", "he had insurance until you went ballistic and canceled it", "listen, you started this ball rolling, this is reality", "he's done" (She tried to scare me into taking his piddly offer of a $12,000 buy out on the house, and $400 a month spousal support) Give me a break!!

He's done?!! I've been done, you overly-hair-dyed-old-hag. I wish I could have put her in her place, but I was so emotional and concentrating on the thought of losing the house and my life as I know it, that I couldn't think straight. Now I know better. Too bad we can't redo it, she'd get her nastiness handed back to her with a shot of you-know-where-to-stick-it to boot. I really regret that I wasn't stronger; but you live and you learn.

I'm seriously thinking about getting another lawyer. Everytime I talk to Ms. Tek, it's not reassuring. She doesn't have a clue about what's in my best interest; she has no strategy. She wants me to make plans, but what are hers? He has a cut-throat lawyer standing up for his best interest, but all she can say is: "try to find a job so they won't stand up in court and say you're lazy and lie around the house all day", "are you looking for work?" Why in the hell should I struggle looking for work when I worked hard all my life; put just as much sweat and tears into this life as he did!! I'm entitled to half of everything. If I go out and get a job, that would mean that he doesn't have to pay as much alimony; And I refuse to make it that easy for him. He's going to pay as much as I can get out of him.

My daughters and I are thinking seriously about our plans, whether or not to fight for the house, or find our own place in another state and start over. We really have a lot of thinking to do. Right now, I don't know what to do. I have an appointment with another lawyer next week. Hopefully, she's what I'm looking for and can afford.

Until next time...